The Reason Why

This is to let everything about what has happened with her and why all this as happened.

First off, she is way to immature. I first began to recongize her immaturiy and her inability to grasp any mature or abstract concepts. I can give a bunch of examples on this. Like the time I was talking about the people booing and complaining about letting the President of Iran speak, and how I was appalled at them for not being any better. Her reasoning came to be I was wrong for saying this and saying it just to disagree with them. Then I explain no, I'm not basing if there actions were right or wrong based upon how I feel, but rather what our countries stands for and its principle, and that was a situation in which you have freedom of speech only if you agree with the masses, which isn't freedom at all. She didn't quite understand it, I could tell by her lack of response and an end of conversation. Then there are other times when I she says things and I confront her with some logic and she cracks and can't handle it. Like a teacher told her she should read a whole chapter in a book first, mind you chapters are 50 pages, and then go back and outline the chapter. She is doing this and complaining it takes so long, so I bring up the question, just because the teacher says it, does that make it right? Just because she is your teacher, does she know everything or what works for you, or is even logical in methods all the time? Are teachers human too and just as fallable as everyone else? She signs offline immediatly ending the conversation. Or when I ask her, how does she judge right or wrong based upon more of what she feels, what are some good ways of defining what you do to a person is actually wrong or right? She says that none of my business and signs offline again. And I began to realize she doesn't think deeply or abstractly about anything. Everything to her is superficial.

And this brings me to her lack of growth. Because she chooses not to face things and think about them, even though they might be kinda hard, she doesn't grow. Her main responses are, "I don't want to share those thoughts with you" and "none of your business." Gee, I lost when questioning your teacher was a deep personal matter. Even when we had fights, I tell her what I realized and what I learned and a mistake that I made and when I am wrong, but when it comes to her she never has learned anything, didnt realize anything about myself or herself, and is NEVER wrong.

But she has other deeper issues of not being able to face people in arguements or disagreement. For one, she has never argued with me in person, and the one time we argued over the phone, is because I pratically had to force her. Besides that she sticks too fighting online and on facebook, and its really pathetic. If its not a facebook or AIM, she's not arguing. And its not just me. There was the time where she punched Ryan and walked out of a film meeting because he's apparently and asshole at times. She just ignores her mom when she yells at her. In class when losing a fight over an opened window, she storms out. Whenever I said lets talk or confronted her on something, her first move is to always dodge me until I praticaly have to find a way to get her to listen, which generally is a fight. The fight wouldn't have happened if she would grow up and just face me to begin with. And then she would last about 3 minutes in an arguement before she just starts tuning me out,just making the fight worse. And when it just dragged on for weeks when it could have been over the first night, which made things much worse between us.

Never have I had such fights with any girlfriend or X-girlfriend in my life. And another about her, she is completely off the wall selfish. If it involves time with no benefits for her, she's not into helpling anyone. Lets see, for her I would wait 40 minutes for her to finish up a project at school and then drive her to office depot to get her stuff done and a few other places. Then I;m sleeping because I have to run early that next morning, and she called me at 11:00 to get out of bed, and come take care of her because she is piss ass drunk. And I do until 4 in the morning, ruining my 12 mile morning run. And then she drivs me car but when I asked her for any gas money, she gets stingy and doesn't want to give any. And then wonders WHY am I mad at her.

She has serious issues with her. But its not completely her fault. Her mom does yell a lot and goes off on tangents, her brother is austic and does some strange things. Her dad is an alcholic and is austic. She never really had any friends until she got to high school. The only serious relationship she has ever had is me, and didn't handle all the responsibilty correctly. How are you gonna she on someone and then tell them not to yell at you when they find out, and then say they overreacted. No morals, no ability to understand anyone else feelings. Or when I tell her my parents are getting a divorce and how I feel, all she can really say is get over it. Like seriosly, thats apathy right there for no reason. Her life has been so messed up and she has serious issues now. And the worst part about it, is she thinks everything is perfectly fine with her. Its not a bad thing to be passive aggressive personality disorder or a manic depressant. Oh really? Well ask your teach teacher or do some researsch to see how passive aggresive affects people throughout life, very negatively. Complete denial is wat keeps her going.

And she is definetely not a happy person. She doesn't like carnivals, playland, minature golf, laser tag, eating at restuarants, many types of movies, many times of music and so many other things. Like there have been so many times where I've tried to have fun with her, and she purposely tries not to have fun. Like what is your problem?

So anyway, to sum it up, the reason why all these fights have happened to end up this way is because of her immatutiry and deeper issues. Yes I am guilty too. I did push her sometimes to much, but other times you she deserved it, espeically when I was mad at her. But really, the only thing she can do now is not care but she knows she can't handle responsiblity, so the only thing she can do is tune things out. Thats her life, running from life instead of facing it.

Ginger Elias
Be careful of her, she has issues and will make you have issues too.

Strangley though, I do still care about her. Most people would be like why? Maybe I'm just sad that all of this really had to happen.