Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself

Its good looking back at things to see how you've changed. Its like going full circle.

Training at Iona

Training at Iona college was probably one of the best choices I've made thus far in my life. It gave me a whole new perspective on running and I did some of the best running I've done in my entire life.

Coming from a predominatly sprint school down south to a distance school up north is a huge difference. The obvious difference is the types of runners and climate. But then there is the difference is mentality and desire.

UNC Wilmington is a school compromised of mostly Sprinter. Fast guys who like working out in the weight room, what I was originally. To them, 3 miles would be considered a work-out. At Iona, it was distance guys who had endurance that could last a mile. With an average 70 miles per week, that means each day guys when atleast 10 miles. But it was generally split up to they may go 13 one day and 7 another. And of course the climate. Wilmington winter is 50 degrees compared to running in sub freezing wheater that freezes your skin as you run. FUN!!!! But these difference gave in how people think and work.

Distance runners definetly have a harder work ethic than sprinters. As the say goes, go the distance and that means both literally and figuratively. And doing that distance becomes tough because it both energy consuming and very time consuming. It takes a lot mental strength and disciple to push yourself. Luckily you don't have to do it alone.

But the most important thing I learned was the mindset of a champion. In Wilmington, winning conference is the goal. But at Iona, the important thing was winning Nationals. They go there, and tell themselves all year that they are going to nationals. And they do. The plan and execution. The mindset and willpower to do so. Thats probably the most important thing I learned, the menality. If you plan on doing something, tell yourself your going to do it, set a plan of how to do it, and then execute. If you truly believe in yourself, then there is nothing that can stop anyone from accomplishing their goals. I've always said fate is something on creates, and there are people who do just that, I do just that.

Ginger- Love to Hate

Its amazing how good relationships can just go so bad. In the case of Ginger, it happened just like that, on both sides. Even though she will deny and claim to forget it all, I remember deep down the things that were said. But the point of this is how I look back and have grown from them, not necessarily what happened.

I knew that things where going to end like it did between us a long time before it actually happened. The reasons being the kind of person she is and how things happen in life. People always say the boyfriend/girlfriend you go into college with you will not have years later. I tried to fight that and I tried to fight all her problems and my own. It came to the point I realize that I couldn't fight everything alone. But the real reason came down to how our lives differed.

She has grown up in Edgemont her whole life, and that says a lot. I haven't, and I've had a sense of what the real world has been like since I was young. I've experience, love, hate, lost, fights, life and death way before she has. Infact I don't think she realizes how much she's grown with me. For example, the religion she know claims, non-demonationial Christian, she first learned about from me even though I doubt she remembers. So basically how experiences in the past of set us worlds apart and college doesn't make it better but 10x worse.

What is learned is that in a relationship, I need someone who has a good amount of experience and knows how to deal with me. No relationship is going to ever be perfect but if the person is honest, sincere, understanding, and willing, then it can work. They have to able to compromise and realize everything will not always go the way want and realize they will have to make sacrifice. Even though I've never lost my temper like I have with anyone else, I realize that at times I need to control my temper and not say/do things that I might regret later out of angry emotion. This is what I'm piecing together because never tells me what I do wrong or why things happen.

Its better to love and lost than to have never loved at all, because you learn. Sometimes it hard to remember if you ever really loved the person. But if you look back hard enough at what was said and did, it was once there no matter how much a person denys the truth as a defense mechansim.

And Ginger, I know you still read this from time to time. So if you got something to say, don't be so afraid to say it, step up, and speak your mind.

Internship

Its funny how you go out into the real world and realize in school you've learned a whole lot of nothing. Or in school, the direction your going in now is not that you want to take. I realized both in one internship.

When people go into computer science, the first thing they think is that they are going to be programming. When you get out o college, you want to find a job that will hire to write programs. Whether it be in pascal, c, c++, java or whatever language it required. The funny thing is, there is so much more to computer science than programming. And thats how the Internship with Universal Remote Control opened my mind up.

With a major in computer science, I can do other things like System Administration, Networking, Help Desk, the possibility really do become endless. If you stop to think about, a computer is invovled in every aspect of our lives today. Even just taking a look at your cell phone should say somthing. With so many possiblites, I don't want to be stuck in a cubicle typing things. I want to get out and do things, meet people, see stuff.

So its strange. Now I head forward with no direction what so ever. I keep pushing become stronger and smarteer and mor valuable but I have no real clue what I want to do with my life, but I know what I don't want to do.

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