First I want to start about Ginger. Whether or not we become friends or totally distant, I feel better about the situation now. Honestly I don't know how sincere she is in what she said. I really think a large part of it could have been just to cover her ass. But atleast she accepted some resonpsiblity and everything that was needed to be said, was said. I feel better about it now and I really think it should have been done a long time ago. Whatever path is chosen next, we can each go that way without looking back and feeling animosity...I hope. I've forgiven her and let my animosity go, I wonder if she has forgiven me.

But passive aggressivenss is truly something amazing. It completely distorts a person view of reality to make it seem like what they want. She's forgotten so much its amazing, its like we never had a relationship. You can't say, "I Love You" and then turn around and say, "I want you gone". Which of course follows the passive aggressive trait of fear of being to close to somebody, fear of dependency or intimacy. Forgetting also abdicates her from any blame or wrong doing. I wonder if she ever read that article. Passive aggressive people don't like to read about themselves. Let me post the article for my reference: http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/a/Pass_Agg.htm. But I think she is getting better at her passive aggressivenss and dealing with it. Last night, for the first time, she admitted that maybe her views on things were distorted by it. If she is not just letting me win and truly means it, I'm proud of her because thats a big step, getting out of the denail.

But then she turns around and in her blog writes only what supports her arguement, thus supporting her distorted view once again. She states that i was going to tell lies about her? Not lies, the truth and I wasn't going to includ Justin, I never did mention his name. Of course this is said to make her seem right and me seem wrong right off the bat. And her friends read it and get only her view, further supporting what she wants to believe rather than the truth. To that extent, there is nothing I can do because she is choosing to see only what she wants, and thats the sadest part. Everything I say isn't right, but that doesn't mean she has to disagree with me on everything just because she can...which is a passive aggressive trait. But I hope she does work on that. I also realized she doesn't want the truth, she says it many different times in different ways.

Like" i need to stop talking about this. stop trying to clear things up, stop trying to see things straighter. just give it up. let it be over." She still doesn't understand why not coming to my grandfathers funeral was the wrong thing. She talks about it in her blog, which she changed. http://mowwwwwww.blogspot.com/. But alas, I no longer have a grudge. She is trapped within her on twisted view of things and runs from any sign of truth. Worst of all, she knows I know the truth when she says, "you know too much about me". Funny, thats what I said along, you don't like me because I know what your going to do, I know you too well to know when your lying, especially to yourself.

I'm just glad this vicious cycle between me and her can finally end in a good way.

But still, this qoute very much describes it:

"People live their lives, bound by what is correct and true. Thats how they define reality.

But what does it mean to be "Correct" or "True"? Merely vague concepts, their reality maybe a mirage.

Can we consider them living in their own world shaped by their own beliefs?"

And with is passive aggressive person its, "The passive aggressive ignores problems in the relationship, sees things through their own skewed sense of reality and if forced to deal with the problems will completely withdraw from the relationship and you. They will deny evidence of wrong doing, distort what you know to be real to fit their own agenda, minimize or lie so that their version of what is real seems more logical. Beware, if you confront the passive aggressive he/she will most likely sulk, give you the silent treatment or completely walk away leaving you standing there to deal with the problem alone."

Life is funnt when everything rings true.

On to Toya. So me and Toya sorta had a talk about what each of us wants and other people. Apparently I don't think she is bothered by me getting with other people, and I'm not bothered by her, since she talks about the other guys who like her. So that is good that we can maintain our current relationship with any problems. We do get along really well, I just don't want to do the distance with her. Maybe if she was here, it would be different.

Now me and Anya have to talk. Are we going to go back out, or stay broken up. I'm not sure if I like her, but I do know I enjoy being with her. So we will see where this ends came, can she make time for a boyfriend.