Its been a while since me and Ginger have actually spoken. And you know something, it actually feels good.
Things got pretty bad between us no matter how I reacted and both of us ended up on the fritz. But I actually grew stronger from it, mentally and emotionally. I guess thats is what seperates me and her, our rates of growth. I always noted that I was maturing a lot of faster than her, and I should have, me being in college. She just ended up regressing into a shell, blaming mostly me and hating me for it. I became more accepting, empathetic and open to more people and experience with a different perception. I no longer have her views of relationships, that people aren't meant to be together for a long time, that they eventually will go seperate; that marriage is something that will happen I will be hapy, maybe not for her but for me it will be. I can forgive her and not hate her and move on. She will suppress everything and may take years to truly move on from our experiences. And now that I've been through other relationships and getting into other ones, I see how different things are. How people deal with things in a better and how I much easier it is to work with other people; I remember what it was like before the relationship with her, what things really meant. How positive and open a person I could be.
In the end, I realized that I couldn't become a better person with her, I couldn't grow with her or through her. She couldn't help me do it, bring out the best in me and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do it with her, and she knew she resisted it every single step. Basically in the end, there was no growth or change for either of us.
But now I feel like its a new day, sun brighter than ever, and I can face it with my head held high and still smile even if she crosses my mind.
I think this sums me up at the end of our relationship:
New Soul
I'm a new soul I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take.
But since I came here
felt the joy and the fear
finding myself making every possible mistake
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
I'm a young soul in this very strange world hoping I could learn a bit about what is true and fake.
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate.
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make.
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
This is a happy end cause' you don't understand everything you have done why's everything so wrong
this is a happy end come and give me your hand I'll take your far away.
I'm a new soul I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take but since I came here felt the joy and the fear finding myself making every possible mistake
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment