The Analization

After anaylizing the arguement of what me and her had last night, I can make some conclusions.

1. You dont have to really know someone to know what they are like. With her, her past has had some bad experiences. Whose past hasn't. But because of it, she bottles her emotions, feeling, thoughts up so she can't get hurt. Shutting other people out does prevent a person from being hurt, but it also prevents letting other do some type of healing. Humans are a social animal, they require each other to survive, wheather they like it or not. So she cuts other people off and out in order not to get hurt.

2. She has trouble saying what she actually feels. She says that she has an interest in me but is not interested in me. Then she says that is not how she really feels but doesn't want to express how she really feels. I can't figure this part out. Why does care to still talk to me if she is not interested and me and says she doesn't want to be close with anyone. Thats the part that baffles me the most. Why even bother talking to me if you not trying to get close at all? There is something she is not telling me. I mean, why come to the library to study with me? Actually really just talk.

3. She does not want to take responsibity of how her actions affect other people. I am not the first person who has told her about her never asking any questions back. The conversation goes dead or it just ends up being about you, and thats not a conversation. If it is one person, maybe it is them. If it a bunch of people, its most likely you.

So why do I still even bother with her? Maybe because I see someone underneath her passive aggresive "fight everyone" exterior. Maybe I actually like her as a person. Maybe it was the sex...lol. Maybe I'm just lonely. But watever the reason, I give it time before I decide if the is another waste of my time or not.