Hardened

I don't know what to title this post yet, so I'll write and then decide.

Sometimes I'm glad I'm a guarded person that never lets too much get to me. Except for this blog, people do not know how I truly feel or think, its like a wall of protection I create for myself and I don't know if it is good or bad. Recently I was sorta beginning to like this girl. She is 22 and I'm 19, sorta weird with the age thing but that is all in my head. So anyway, we were talking for a little while, not a long time at all, less than a month. And then one night I had sex with her. And I guess that made things worse, because then I actually really started to like her.

Turns out she was a month out of relationships and I turned out just to be a person who she just throws her troubles on. I've noticed she never ask how was my day, what are you thinking, even when we had the discussion of that just being a one night thing and I'm sorry and all that bs, she never asked once, what do you feel, what do you think. So now I'm putting all emotion aside and looking at the situation logically. I'm just a deposit for her emotions and frustrations, and when she gets over her break up, I'll just become nobody. I'm glad I didn't let myself get to deeply involved, letting any emotions or thoughts just go.

But this happens to me quite a bit. Girls who are going through some shit seem to attach to me and want to talk. I don't even go up to them, they come up for me. For now on, I want to find someone with no baggage, I'm tired of people and all their problems especially when they can't help me or listen to mine. So I think I've thought of a title for this post.