Change

Ok even thou I'm sorta pissed off at her right now, I'm not gonna bash her. We both need some changes.

She saids I'm not completely over her which is partially true but its the same for her too. But our relationships is besides that points, it treatment. I'm not gonna call her out on anything but she just needs to treat me a lil better as a person, not bf/gf, but a person.

And I need to stop saying lets end it, good bye, etc. This year I can even tell that I've matured so much. Maybe at times I do put too much pressure on her to be really mature about things too, and I am to hard at times. After all she still is in high school which does limit her experiences. I know since college, esp this year, I've matured so much, and I can't imagine how much further I have to go. Life is a long journey in a short period of time.

And at times I might be to clingy towards her, I admit it. She gets clingy at times too, even thou she won't admit it. But I wish she would take some blame and responsibility and work with me. I can't do things by myself. I wish when I give her advice, she would actually listen, because I've been there before, done it already. This is kinda funny but my parents and brother use to say the same thing to me. I look back now and wondered if I acted that way when I was a teenager.

But I think they've seen that I've grown up. So they don't say it as much. Even though my mom is still my mom and tells me its cold outside and to wear something warm. Thnx mom, no duh. But I no longer get mad at it, I just accept it. The african guy told me the same thing. He's 30 something and his mom still tells him how to drive. He said eventually you will understand you can't get mad at it, you just have to accept it, that thats ur mom and she will always be ur mom, even when ur 60 and she's 90. Of course he had an accent thou.

So those are things I need to work on with her. Stop being so clingy at times, don't hold my expectations to high for her, and stop saying I'm gonna stop talking to her. If only she would do her part things could work out. And maybe since I once acted like/did some of the things she did/ was her age, I should try to understand her point of view.

And the funny thign is, we can work. Like in winter. I just wonder whats holding her back? Arguements? Responsibility? Another Guy? I wonder if she even knows? I've talked to other people who like people but are scared of titles and relationships?

Oh well, one step at a time. I have to work on myself as she works on herself first. Then maybe we can see what our friendship really is.